We had a lot of questions for the doctor. Karen sent me on a food run around noon to snag some Cheetos (they are gluten free) and some lunch for me. The treatment really wiped Karen out, partially because of the benadryl she got to prevent some reactions and partially because of the actual drugs. As I type this she is getting a continuous dose over 46 hours to complete the treatment. They hooked Karen up to a nice little pump and sent her home. It is supposed to be foolproof but we'll see how that works out. After all the saying goes, "Nothing is foolproof to the talented fool."
Since Karen was so tired she didn't feel up to a visit with Rebecca tonight so I had to go it alone. I really hope that isn't a preview of things to come, how I hope that isn't so... It breaks my heart to even think about Karen not being able to see her little ones grow up, to hear their first words, to see their first days of school, hear them say, "I love you mom", or any other of thousands of those precious, once in a life time experiences.
Braden
The only time I have trouble is when I think of the future and she is the one missing. When I think of the struggle to get her going and keep her around I am alright but a future without her makes my heart ache.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it better. Thanks Em.
ReplyDeleteBraden, I've thought of this post all day long. I read it very early this morning, and there is so much I want to say but the words just were not there. Emily you hit it perfectly. My first thoughts when learning of all this was about her babies. Karen is tuff and will endure I have no doubt. When she needs strength I hope she looks to all of us (her team). Braden we are your team too. We are here to lean on when you need us, listen when you need to be heard.
ReplyDeleteAnnika, thank you. Writing this is one of my ways of coping. Reading the comments is another. Knowing that people are there and willing to help is more comfort that I had every thought it could be. Amazing how going through something like this makes you think and face things you never thought about before. I'll keep going and when I need help (more help I should say) I will hopefully have the humility and courage to ask for it.
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