Days of Summer

So my birthday and Father's Day have gone by.  It has also been two months since Karen passed away.

Summer has started with James and Rebecca enjoying time outside whenever they can get it.  Tonight I was just watching them on their bikes when Becca came up to me, grabbed my hand (finger actually), and started pulling on me while saying walk.  Apparently she wanted to go for a walk so we (James, Rebecca, and I) went on a walk up the road and came back home.  No sooner had I sat down than she did the same thing, so we went on another, shorter walk up a different road.  Last night she had insisted on walk in the same way.  I think I will need to teach her some manners so she will be little more polite.

This week I had my first trip to the pool with the kids as well.  It was an interesting experience and hopefully I can be a little more relaxed the next time I take them to have some fun.

(Kids ready for the pool)

I seem to be going in reverse on this post.  Last Saturday I received a gift from Karen in the mail.  It was a movie she had ordered before she passed away.  She had asked me if I wanted it and I guess she bought it.  The timing of it arriving between my birthday and Father's Day was probably not her choice but it was a great gift.  I had been missing seeing her smile when I opened a gift from her.  This last birthday/Father's Day gift from her was extra special though.

(Karen's b-day/Father's Day gift to me)

On to some other news...  For those of you that know me you know my left knee is not in the best shape.  Something to do with three previous operations and not treating it well.  Apparently I hurt it a little more and the doctors think it needs a little work so sometime in the next few weeks I will be having surgery to fix this latest problem.  When I told my boss he just said, "You just can't catch a break."  Viewed a certain way it is a break.  Any earlier and I wouldn't have been able to move or help be there for Karen.  Any later and I wouldn't be at my insurance out of pocket maximum for the year.  We'll see if I'm this philosophical about it in a month or two.

Braden

I have plans for you tomorrow!

For Karen's birthday I got her siblings in the state, her parents, and my parents together for a dinner.  It was fun to get out and have some fun and remember her.  We ate at one of her favorite restaurants, Outback.  It was one of her favorites due mostly to the fact that they have a more than decent gluten free menu with a very good dessert.

Dinner with the family

The day after her birthday there was a rainbow that looked like it was right over the cemetery where Karen is buried!

James and Rebecca ready for bed!

Dessert is a little messy sometimes!

James just before he got dessert all over his face too.

Getting out in a social setting has reinforced a thought I have had for a while which is I need to get out with friends more.  For the past few months I have been concentrating on Karen and the kids so much I haven't really formed any friendships outside of work.  That needs to change if I am going to keep moving forward.

You might be asking what I mean.  It means I will be looking for singles events to go to and probably even dating.  Yes, I said dating.  I think I'm ready for it and I know it's what Karen wants for me and it's what I want.  I can hear her saying, "I have plans for you tomorrow!  Now get to it."  She had/has the mindset that if you're going to do something, you go all in.  If I'm not ready, well, I guess I'll find out.  Time will tell if I have made the correct choice or not and I won't know unless I try.

Many of you reading this may not realize it, but when it comes to socializing (especially with women) I am an introvert until I become comfortable.  While Karen was alive it was easy to talk to women, but in the last few weeks, it's as if a switch has been flipped.  It's like I'm in high school all over again struggling to find the right words.  Sometimes responding to a simple hello is the most difficult thing in the world.  I will learn to deal with that though and the first step is to get used to the environment.  Now I just need to find some singles events that I can crash, er go to.

Braden