Were Karen still alive and going through chemo treatments life for us would be very different! Yet even with that it would still be up to me as an individual to determine the effect of those circumstances on my perspective and attitude. Do I huddle up in my home afraid to go out, afraid of getting sick and or do I look at this as an opportunity to spend time with my kids, and do I look for ways to stay connected with the world and people around me, albeit differently? Do I ask, 'Why?' in any of it's many forms or do I say, 'Why not!' and go forward? The answers to those questions have nothing to do with the choices of anyone but me.
Several years ago a friend of mine helped teach me an important lesson in changing perspective or thinking outside of the box. The way he taught it has stuck with me because the words he used seemed so contradictory. He said, "Sometimes to make it easier you have to make it harder." At the time I was skeptical but in that instance he proved right. Since then I have applied that principle to other aspects of life.
Many times we view hardship as a punishment but what if hardship is actually reward. What would you say if I told you that by changing your perspective from punishment to reward you can change your life? As an example I used to think sweating or exercising was a punishment. Now I view it as a reward, a way to de-stress and enjoy the gift of a healthy body. By changing the mentality from 'I have to' to 'I get to' it becomes my choice. When bad things happen, when life doesn't turn out the way I want, I can ask myself some questions (I didn't come up with these but I think they apply):
Can I change it?
Can I change the way I think about it?
Can I accept it?
Do I want to be miserable?
That last question is the one the makes me loop back to the others because I really don't want to be miserable and it helps me remember it's my choice. I have the power within me to make that choice today and tomorrow. And each and every one of you reading this has the power within you to choose. No matter the circumstances, no matter the history, no matter the life experience, no matter what we have the gift of choice at all times and in all places.
Today I easily could have chosen to take the day off work, to sleep in, to mope, to be miserable. Instead I chose to make it a fairly normal day, to get up and go to work, to enjoy foods I like (sushi and the gluteny goodness of breaded chicken - Karen was celiac and couldn't eat gluten :D), to get some exercise, to have some fun with my kids, to think about life and how to apply what I have learned to other areas of my life.
And now I choose to go to bed and enjoy a warm, comfortable bed where I can hog the covers and sleep like a starfish because nobody else is there to do a thing about it :D
Braden
P.S.
And just for fun here are some of my favorite pictures of her!
