It was five years ago today that the gastroenterologist told me that Karen had colon cancer after he finished her colonoscopy. The day before we had received the results of the CT scan showing the 'apple core' mass in her colon which they said was only one possibility. On Valentines Day we received the biopsy results. We had hoped everyone was wrong, oh how we had hoped but stage 4 colon cancer became our reality. Goals went out the window and life turned into a day to day focus, then a week to week, then month to month. After two years our lives once again turned to a week to week and then a day to day focus as Karen's mortal life came to an end.
Just before Becca was born!
After Karen started chemo and was improving but Becca was still in the NICU
Home form the hospital and together as a family!
Karen with the kiddos.
Our 13th anniversary!
Family trip!
Momma and kiddos!
More momma and kiddos!
Even more momma and kiddos!
This is the smile and attitude I remember!!!
Fast forward five years and my life doesn't bear much resemblance to what I had planned except I still have two kids. I could spend time comparing what I had expected with what is but I know from personal experience that it wouldn't do much good. Does all this mean I shouldn't have a goal or a plan? No, it just means it would be better to remember in any plan that life doesn't always turn out as expected. I can have goals and plans for achieving those goals but sometimes no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do I will come up short. That's not a bad thing, it's just life.
Fun times with the kids!
Hanging out with the kids!
More kid time!
Fun faces!
However, in that struggle I may end up going down an even better path and accidentally, at least in my own eyes, achieving something better that I had dreamed. I may end up finding out I am much more capable and have far more potential, even in this life, than I thought possible. I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
When I talk about religion or my personal beliefs on this blog it is usually indirectly. One thing I want to make clear though is that so much of what and who I am is tied up in my faith. Faith in Christ and His power to heal and help, to guide and comfort, to inspire and teach, and to strengthen and calm. So while I don't talk about religion or personal belief directly I want anyone reading this to know God is real, that he loves us because we are His children, and that no matter where you are He can help.
Braden
