Hope and Purpose

I recently realized I had gotten away from my original purpose in writing this blog.  To begin it had been a way to communicate quickly to friends and family what was happening.  Over time it became a way to foster hope in me and Karen.  Since Karen passed it has felt more like an obligation or onerous duty rather than a joy to continue with this blog.  I had stopped writing for me.  Well, over the last few weeks I have felt the need to write again, to help myself remember and regain some of the hope and optimism I so readily felt in the darkest moments of my life.

The tag line or mantra that I have lived by, the torch that was passed to me needs to be rekindled and I have been thinking a lot about that tag line:  "I am going to beat this.  I have plans for tomorrow."  What does it mean to "beat this"?  In answer it means living today, in today without giving thought to tomorrow.  Today is where tomorrow is made and tomorrow is only made by making it through today.  My plan for tomorrow is to wake up, get up, and make the next tomorrow possible.  I make the tomorrow possible by living the best lift I can right now, not simply existing, by having hope, not despair.

With all that being said there is a lot of catching up to do!  At last checking I updated this in July and since then I have:  (Scroll through the pictures to see what we have been up to.  There is a summary at the bottom).

Like my 'new' shoes?

James showing dad how to vacuum.

Daddy's biking shoes are toys!  (Thanks again to my coworker for hooking me up with some free biking shoes, they fit perfectly and work great)

He told me that is his cape which is great since Karen wanted to get a bib for him that said, "These fools put my cape on backwards!"

 If James does it I can do it too (better).

Cool dude! (And according to him he's handsome, not cute or adorable)

Looking at the eclipse using a pinhole in paper - It worked better than I thought it would and beat sharing the glasses!

Ready for church on Sunday.

I had wanted Becca to be one of the girls from Despicable Me.  That hat is perfect!

A little cold the morning of the father and 'sons' camp out.

Guess who was pulling the handcart for the kids?

Just before bedtime with grandma.

Canning pears with the in-laws (Karen's sisters, Emily and Diana)

Just before a 50 mile bike ride around Bear Lake with my riding buddy Louise (sister-in-law).  Special thanks to my friend Howard for letting us sleep at his house when he wasn't even home.  I did have to get some cold weather gear at the last minute which has come in handy since then.

Thank goodness it's over - the last 5 miles were brutal!

It was off to Subway across the street for lunch.  Believe it or not I could still walk.

Pretending to be asleep on dad's bed!

Do these help me see better?

The start of the pumpkin walk - about 5 minutes later James had to go to the bathroom.

Always ready to pose!

Becca got in after James said he was going to run her over.

For comparison from last year.

Some cool engineering at the pumpkin throw.

More cool stuff!

Becca and her 'smile'.

All the catapults or trebuchets in a line.  They threw some pumpkins loaded with candy for the kids so that was fun.  A pre-Halloween sugar rush! 

James found a comfy pad!

I'm Gru from Despicable Me and they are both honey bees (not bumble bees).

Made it through a partial eclipse with the kids and grandparents, made it through a wedding anniversary without Karen, went to a singles conference, Labor day weekend, went on a father and sons overnight camping trip (took Becca and James), canned pears with my in-laws, attended numerous singles activities and events, both James and Becca started attending preschool and love it, trained for and completed a 50 mile bike ride around Bear Lake (in 30 degree weather), hosted a get together (potluck soup lunch) for local widows and widowers, achieved a goal of losing 100 lbs (same day as the 18 month mark of Karen's passing) which is also the day I took the kids to the pumpkin walk, went to the pumpkin throw, had the first primary program for James (he did great with a little ad-lib thrown in), made it through Halloween and trick-or-treating with the kids (even dressing up for the first time as an adult), went to a Jazz game for the first time in over 15 years (my second Jazz game) though the Jazz lost :(.

I think that gets us all caught up and gives me an incentive to be more regular in tracking the good times I have!

See you around,

Braden