A Different Post

This post is a little different than the ones I normally do.  Normally I write about Karen, the kids or a project that I am working on for the family.  Today I am going to tell you a little bit about me.

Six years ago I weighed in at 275 lbs.  I was out of shape, stressed and headed for an early grave.  Today I am 197 lbs.  Lately I have been getting asked questions by friends and coworkers what my secret is.  I had started off by saying diet and exercise but that's not really the secret.  It was the answer I would give off the top of my head without really thinking about it.  I thought about it and then started saying motivation but that wasn't right either.

Braden and Karen - Thanksgiving 2009

Today on the treadmill I had some time to think.  Lately I have been staying away from the treadmill due to some feet problems but today all of my substitutes were taken.  In a way I am grateful for that time I had to think.  The conclusion I came to after 30 minutes on the treadmill is that the secret is patience (if you have ever spent 30 minutes on a treadmill you know it takes patience).  Patience with myself, with results, with life and challenges.  Success with most anything in life is not determined immediately, it takes a lot of time and effort.

Karen and Braden - January 2016

It wasn't one change that helped me out of my rut and on the road to being alive to take care of James and Rebecca kids after Karen is gone.  It was having the patience for a lot of little things to add up to big results.  Changes made over the span of weeks, months and years.  Eating better foods, not necessarily less food (though that helps) just more of better foods (that's how I try to think about it though I don't always succeed).  Getting out and exercising regularly.  Being willing to try something new (helps avoid boredom) for a while and see how it works and being willing to roll with it if it doesn't.  Everyone is different so figure out what does or doesn't work for you.  Not trying too many new things all at once.  Let a big change devlop into a habit before adding something new.  Starting slow and easing into a new routine.  Make corrections quickly if you get off track.  Getting to bed on time.  Finding ways to reduce stress or use it to help me out.  Pushing my limits and not being afraid of a little soreness.  Being grateful for what I have.  Living in the moment, but not at the expense of the future.  Taking time to spend with family and friends.  Setting long term and short term goals and then measuring them regularly.  Having faith that things will work out for the best if you keep trying.  That's not even the entire list, but it's getting late.

What it comes down to is that I couldn't have come as far as I have if who I am and what I value hadn't changed in that time.  Over time all of those little changes have added up to a new way of living.  Will those changes stick?  That's the big question for anyone.  It hasn't been a string of uninterrupted success and it has not been quick.  Real change is rarely quick.  I have had my ups and downs on this particular journey, but over the last six years my weight has trended downward.  After Karen got home from the hospital in 2014 my weight plateaued for a while (~225 lbs) and then started to climb back up (~245 lbs).  With Karen's support, and a little chiding, I was able to get back on track.

Karen has been amazing through this.  With all of her challenges she still has the strength to motivate and inspire me to be better.  She hasn't let the cancer beat her and is still trying to be a better mother, wife and person.  I know she doesn't have much time left so I try to cherish the time we do have.  I'm grateful for the help she is to me.  It's strange but the last few years, while they have been the hardest, have also been the best.  Would I live through it all again?  Probably not, because I hope and believe the next few years will be even better.  There will be more hard times but I know we can get through them if we're willing to change for the better.

Braden

P.S.  There was a talk from the October 2014 LDS General Conference titled "What Lack I Yet?".  Many of the principles I talk about here are more eloquently and fully expressed in it.  You can find it on lds.org by searching for, what lack I yet.

TIPS

This week was the TIPS operation that is supposed to help with the side effects of my poorly functioning liver. We went into the hospital at 10:30 am and had the procedure done at 2:30. There was another operation that pushed us back. It gave us lots of time to talk. I got back to the waiting area at 6:30. I was having a hard time coming out of the anesthesia since they gave me benadryl. That stuff knocks me out for days. ... It turns out that the doctor decided to go ahead and do the hemorrhoid embolization too.

The next day I had a CT scan so the doctor could see how the operation went. He said that everything looked great and he has high hopes for the future. We have to go back in a month for a check up. I was released to go home that day.

I am very happy to be home, but this whole taking it easy while recovering from surgery I'm not so good at.

We were given the OK to do chemo Monday and my blood counts are high enough. I'm just not looking forward to it.

I want to send out a great big thank you to all those that prayed or fasted for me and this surgery. I was fairly calm and I know it was because of you.

Karen

New Year - 2016

Life got a little busy for us after the last post.  Christmas was great and we were able to spend a lot of time together as a family.  It always amazes me at how willing people are to help and give.  In the days running up to Christmas we had at least three different people drop off packages, cards or gifts.  It is sometimes hard to accept help when I look around and see so many other people in need.  Allowing other people to help in a time like this has been a learning experience for Karen and me.  We are very grateful for all of the kindness.

The day after Christmas was relaxed and allowed us to catch our breath a little.  New Year's Eve was fun with more family gathered for dinner.  Our tradition of watching movies until we ring in the new year was modified in favor of allowing Karen and the kids to get to bed early.  New Year's morning I made a trip to the grocery store with Karen's mom.  One of Karen's Christmas morning traditions is fresh squeezed orange juice.  Since she didn't get that on Christmas I decided to make it happen on New Year's day.

Karen on New Year's Eve

January 4th Karen had another chemo treatment.  Two days later she ended up running a fever and not feeling well.  We had been planning to go to a company party together on Friday for our date night but I ended up going alone.  I am glad we are close enough to family that they were able to help out with the kids while I was away for the day.

Since Karen hasn't been able to get up and down stairs very well the kids bedtime routine has been adjusted.  It used to be that story time, scriptures and prayers were done in their bedroom.  Between prayers and being tucked in they would run back upstairs to give hugs and kisses to grandma and grandpa.  Now we stay upstairs until they are ready to be tucked in and then I take them down to bed.  Karen follows at her own pace and is usually able to sing a couple of songs to them while putting them to bed.  The kids have been great and adjust to the changes faster than I do.

Story time with mommy - Rebecca, Karen & James

We drove down to Huntsman Cancer Hospital today for the TIPS procedure.  As I type this Karen is having the procedure done.  Just after they took her in I asked the doctor about the ascites (fluid in the belly) and if it could be drained since Karen had wanted me to check on that for her.  He said they usually do that during these procedures.  We have been very fortunate in how many good people have attended to her needs.

On Tuesday Karen had a blood transfusion so she would be 'topped off' for the procedure.  While she was having that done she did a phone interview with a reporter from KSL.  Karen had been debating whether or not to do it at all and finally decided to go ahead.  Between when we left Logan this morning and arrived at the the hospital the story had been posted and more support had begun to flow in.  I hope those reading this realize how much good there is in the world, how decent and selfless so many people are and how caring they can be to those in need.

Braden