Spring has sprung!

It has been a while (about 3 months) since my last post and life only seems to get busier between work, taking care of the kids, and the thousands of other things that need to be done.  Both James and Rebecca have had birthdays in that time.  My major accomplishment was making it through a month where I had two three year old kids at the same time!

Becca's birthday - Snuggled up with her 'loot'

Little TV Zombies

Playing in the snow with cousins

Eating some pizza while half asleep.

Becca was a little more awake.

Helping grandma Georgia with dinner.

I sometimes struggle about what to write here.  There are a lot of personal challenges I go through and I don't think this is an appropriate venue to vent about or share them.  For this blog I prefer to keep the tone upbeat and positive because it helps me to focus my own mind on the good in the world.  Take for instance something that happened at work a few weeks ago.  I was in a big hurry and was going to end up missing out on a good lunch, well any lunch really.  When I mentioned my lack of time in an offhand manor to a co-worker they let me know about some pot luck leftovers in the fridge and insisted I have some.  That little act let me relax and focus on the good instead of the rushed and frazzled state I was working myself into.

There are so many little things to brighten any day that I can't stay focused on the bad for too long.  Take for instance being single and no longer having Karen around.  I can focus on the loss, the bad things that have happened, and all the things that are or will be harder for me and the kids without her.  Or I can focus on the family members and friends that help me out on a daily basis.  People I feel closer to now than ever before.  People who love me and my children.  People that know kind acts are their own reward.  If I let it, the negative can outweigh the bad.  In fact, one bad thing can outweigh a thousand good things.  If I Let It.  Where do I choose to put my attention and focus, on me and the bad or on others and the good that happens in the world?

Playing with some educational toys.

More toy time!

Looking all grown up reading the paper.

Just chilling on the couch at grandma's house.

Goofing off on the swing.

Story with the cousins before nap time at aunt Shandrae's.

Shopping but they both had to be 'in' the cart!

'Becca bug'

Eating dinner with grandma.

If Becca has her picture taken James wants one too.

So on to the next subject, my social life.  Trying to balance work, family life, continued healing, and a social life has been a real learning experience for me.  Approached in the right way my healing can be accomplished using all of those facets of my life.  Feeling connected to coworkers, family, and friends gives me energy and optimism.  It does take effort or desire on my part which has waxed and waned over the last several months.  Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out and having fun.  When I catch myself feeling like I don't deserve or shouldn't be having fun without Karen I try to remind myself life is to be lived.

I am not here to merely exist and get through the day, to endure.  I am here to enjoy this existence, to learn and grow which means I need to be around people.  There have been a lot of good people who have been brought into my life over the last year.  Figuring out who I am again has been a learning experience.  Going to singles activities and getting to know people has helped in more ways than I had thought.

To end here are answers to questions some of you probably want to ask.  Am I dating?  Yes I am actively dating.  Am I in a relationship?  Yes, but only in the sense that all friendships are relationships.  No, I am not exclusively seeing anyone.  How are the kids doing?  They are doing well though James and Becca seem to be missing their mommy more in the last few months.  Other than the occasional breakdown by them or me we are a fairly normal family that relies on extended family for help daily.

I hope you have a great day!

Braden