Time Slides on by

It has been an interesting year so far, as in the Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times!"  Kids finished up the end of the 2019-20 school year at home.  The summer was fun with lots of small trips and mini adventures spending time outdoors and with family.  The 2020-21 school year began with the kids going back to school everyday, albeit with masks and a slightly shorter school day.

There have been a few things on my mind lately one of which being the challenges we all face.  I trained for and then participated in a 100+ mile bike ride, aka a century ride, on July 11th.  Physically, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in a single day.  I was able to keep up with a very fast group for the first 25 miles or so and then ended up falling behind going up a canyon.  At the next aid station I was able to get in a small group which makes things much easier, a lot less lonely, and much more enjoyable.  We stayed together and added people to our group until they lost me going up another set of hills.  The last 15-20 miles was very difficult and lonely.  Luckily, most of my preparation was on solo rides so I was used to it if not the physical exhaustion that began to set in.

A few weeks later I noticed my motivation for physical activity waning and prayed for some help.  It wasn't long after that when a friend contacted me out of the blue asking if I was up for doing a relay ride from Salt Lake to Saint George called Salt to Saint which is similar to a Ragnar.  Riders take turns on their bike all day and all night from start to finish.  I felt good about my training since last year I had completed a similar relay called Saints to Sinners that goes from Salt Lake to Las Vegas.

About 2 weeks before the ride I developed thrombosed hemorrhoids which can be excruciating, and were in this case.  For the first time in my life I almost passed out due to pain!  I had experienced them once before about 4 or 5 years ago.  This time around I had an idea of what to do and went to the doctor the first day I knew what was happening.  It raised some concerns about if I would be able to participate  in the ride or not.  The surgeon said I couldn't do any more damage and that my riding would come down to whether or not I could tolerate the pain.  A week, 2 medical procedures, and lots of pain later I was still doubting if I would be able to participate in the ride.

I was fast slipping into a depressed funk!  The ride had become something I was really looking forward to and didn't want to miss out.  It was supposed to be a way to be normal in all the craziness of COVID-19 and election year rhetoric, a reason to take a day off of work, and a much needed time to destress via social and physical outlets.  I prayed and pleaded (and a little chewing out), received a blessing from my dad, and tried to hold onto hope while staying off of my bike to let my body heal.

A couple of days before the ride I got on my bike to see how things felt.  I felt okay riding without too much pain thanks to my padded and low friction biking shorts.  Despite that I didn't get back on my bike until a few minutes before my first leg Friday afternoon.  As I started riding my muscles warmed and loosened up.  When it was my turn the adrenaline kicked in and I had to hold myself back a bit so I didn't go out to fast.  I was worried about going too slow since my first leg was going up a canyon and based on passed experience with canyons I believed that was my weak spot.

I was talking to someone at work while training for the relay.  In our conversation they mentioned passing me in their side-by-side while I was biking up a canyon.  They had been impressed by how quickly I was ascending.  It's interesting how our view of ourselves can be distorted and how a friend or outsider can offer another and sometimes clearer or more truthful perspective.  Here I was coming up short when comparing myself to cyclists who had been training for a decade longer than me.  The comparison trap!

While riding up that canyon I kept telling myself I was doing well and that I was good at climbing.  I set a fast pace but one I felt as sustainable.  It helped that I was familiar with the canyon, having driven it dozens, if not hundreds, of times with Karen.  I could tell I was gong fast and felt a tailwind helping me along.  Still, I didn't realize how fast I was going until I passed the first rider ahead of me, then the second, and finally a third.  That third rider stayed with me and we took turns drafting and pulling the rest of the way to the transition point.  Something I had expected to take over an hour took just over 40 minutes.

The other two legs I rode were just as amazing each in its own way.  One in the middle of the night was slightly uphill and into the wind.  Again, I was able to catch some other riders.  Two of them ended up taking turns pulling and drafting which ended up being very nice once the temperature plummeted to the 30's.  While I was dressed warmly I wasn't expecting it to drop that much.  In the end my hands were quite cold as was the rest of me and I am grateful for those other two riders!  With their help we probably shaved a few minutes off of the time we would have gotten.  The next day I was able to talk to one of them and thank him for the help.

The last leg was probably the most fun as the majority of it was downhill with a tailwind.  Over the course of 19 miles I descended 1500 feet.  That may not sound like much but it made for a fun and fast ride where I averaged 25.8 mph and finished in well under an hour.

So why am I writing this?  Well, it's more for me than for anyone else.  The last week has been very rough and I needed to remember something good that had happened to me.  I needed to remember how God answers prayers, takes care of me, and watches out for me especially when things are hard.  It's a reminder I need often and maybe by writing this all down it will help me remember, really remember that life is good!

I have plans for tomorrow and tomorrow is today!

Braden

Sharing earbuds while listening to a book during homeschool.

Making an old favorite, fettucine alfredo!

Exploring a cave on a hike.

At the Bear Lake overlook.

Some fun at Minnetonka Cave.

Not sure what James was going for here but I'm sure he nailed it!

Too cute!

Perspectives (4 year mark since Karen passed away)

A few things have been on my mind the last several weeks due to the COVID-19 pandemic.  This past week in my reading I came across some stories about people in hiding during World War II.  Specifically they were Jews hiding from Nazis.  In these cases they had to remain not only in their homes but quiet and unseen.  The circumstances were different but for them it meant life or death to stay home or go out.  At the moment it's not that extreme for most of us in Utah.  We have far more freedom.  For some though there is a real need to stay home.

Were Karen still alive and going through chemo treatments life for us would be very different!  Yet even with that it would still be up to me as an individual to determine the effect of those circumstances on my perspective and attitude.  Do I huddle up in my home afraid to go out, afraid of getting sick and or do I look at this as an opportunity to spend time with my kids, and do I look for ways to stay connected with the world and people around me, albeit differently?  Do I ask, 'Why?' in any of it's many forms or do I say, 'Why not!' and go forward?  The answers to those questions have nothing to do with the choices of anyone but me.

Several years ago a friend of mine helped teach me an important lesson in changing perspective or thinking outside of the box.  The way he taught it has stuck with me because the words he used seemed so contradictory.  He said, "Sometimes to make it easier you have to make it harder."  At the time I was skeptical but in that instance he proved right.  Since then I have applied that principle to other aspects of life.

Many times we view hardship as a punishment but what if hardship is actually reward.  What would you say if I told you that by changing your perspective from punishment to reward you can change your life?  As an example I used to think sweating or exercising was a punishment.  Now I view it as a reward, a way to de-stress and enjoy the gift of a healthy body.  By changing the mentality from 'I have to' to 'I get to' it becomes my choice.  When bad things happen, when life doesn't turn out the way I want, I can ask myself some questions (I didn't come up with these but I think they apply):

Can I change it?
Can I change the way I think about it?
Can I accept it?
Do I want to be miserable?

That last question is the one the makes me loop back to the others because I really don't want to be miserable and it helps me remember it's my choice.  I have the power within me to make that choice today and tomorrow.  And each and every one of you reading this has the power within you to choose.  No matter the circumstances, no matter the history, no matter the life experience, no matter what we have the gift of choice at all times and in all places.

Today I easily could have chosen to take the day off work, to sleep in, to mope, to be miserable.  Instead I chose to make it a fairly normal day, to get up and go to work, to enjoy foods I like (sushi and the gluteny goodness of breaded chicken - Karen was celiac and couldn't eat gluten :D), to get some exercise, to have some fun with my kids, to think about life and how to apply what I have learned to other areas of my life.

And now I choose to go to bed and enjoy a warm, comfortable bed where I can hog the covers and sleep like a starfish because nobody else is there to do a thing about it :D

Braden

P.S.

And just for fun here are some of my favorite pictures of her!

Helping hands

During the holiday season I was reflecting on the help I received over the last several years as well as my attitude towards it.  When Karen was first diagnosed help was everywhere.  At the time it felt a little like drinking from fire-hose.  Offers to care for James and drive him an hour for visits, a place to live while Karen and Becca were in the hospital, cards, gift cards, cash, kind words, hugs, a way to work remotely, random gifts, etc. the list goes on!

I was extremely reluctant to accept help.  Frankly, I didn't know how to accept it because up to that time I hadn't needed to, I had been the one helping others.  It has been quite a lesson in humility, service, love, charity, and gratitude.

As our circumstances changed so did the help that was offered and my attitude towards it.  Selling our house, moving to a new town, starting a new job, meeting and getting to know new neighbors and coworkers, and settling in to a new routine.  Again it was a bit like drinking from a fire-hose with all of the changes.  Then came the real acknowledgement in our hearts that Karen wasn't going to make it.  It came slowly at first and then in a rush on a winter trip to the oncologist.

A little later I spoke to her about that and she said she always knew she wasn't going to make it, that she was holding on for me and her kids, to have as much time as possible with us, that she didn't want to leave.  The strange part was her strength gave me hope that she could somehow be healed.  In the end all of our prayers and hopes were answered in the form of her being a light to those around her, of being given the strength to overcome her feelings of despair, of her ability to foster hope in others, of her developing an ability to live each day to the fullest.

As it became clear the time was getting closer I became afraid, afraid of living life without her, afraid of suddenly losing all of the help that people were giving us, afraid of almost everything.  I told myself people wouldn't want to help me anymore, that the only reason they had helped was because of Karen.  In my mind I wasn't really worth helping and because of my fear I started to withdraw mentally and emotionally.

I looked more to family for help and made plans for James and Becca to be cared for by them while I continued to work.  To justify it I told myself since I was paying some of my family to watch my kids that I was really helping them.  As part of that justification I said I needed to stand on my own to do it all by myself.

I didn't dare take much time off of work for fear that the grief would overwhelm me, or that I would lose skills, or there would no longer be a place for me.  I was afraid of losing the friendships and connections I had developed at work over the previous 9 months.  I needed to feel connected to the world around me, like I mattered to someone or anyone.  My boss let me work remotely for a a day or two as Karen's passing came near.

Then Karen passed and funeral planning, getting the death certificate and straightening out social security, insurance, banks accounts, and other accounts dominated my life for a few days.  The plans I had made for my kids went into effect.  Because I didn't think anyone wanted to help me, that I didn't really matter I took a total of 4 days off of work.

Everyone has heard the stories of how there are lines of people who stop by to offer comfort.  The funeral was like that but outside of kind words of sympathy at the funeral and cards received there weren't many who stopped by.  My bishop was great and had helped with the funeral planning.  His door was always open but I didn't want to be a burden.  For a while I felt like I could do it all, I could feel the love and support of everyone around me and that it would continue forever.  My boss stopped by to drop off some gifts and cards and offer his condolences and those of my coworkers.  In a way I was disappointed that others hadn't stopped by but I didn't say anything.

I later learned people had asked my parents how I was doing yet very few talked to me personally.  It was a hard time and I was trying so hard to hold on, to do everything on my own and that's when the loneliness started knocking at the door - the soul crushing, oppressive variety of loneliness.  There are few that understand what it's like to have the person who means everything to you pass away.  I put on a happy face and kept doing my job.  I smiled and told people everything was fine and asked for help to get out and socialize and to start dating.  After all Karen had told me to remarry and that if I didn't she would come back and haunt me!

In my mind I wanted new connections as a distraction or a way to heal from the loneliness and emptiness I could feel creeping into my life.  My purpose for the last couple of years had to been to get Karen to the next chemo treatment and suddenly it was gone.  I didn't have the person next to me who knew my strengths and weaknesses, my faults and virtues, and loved me because of them all.  I didn't have my person next to me, the one I loved and wanted to protect and provide for, the one I wanted to have a family with, the one who had chosen me and who I had chosen, the one I had built my world and life around.

Right in the middle of all this upheaval I found out I needed knee surgery.  Not a quick in and out scope but what turned out to be a partial knee replacement.  A conversation with a neighbor and a few phone calls later connected me with a piano teacher so I would have something to focus my mind on while recovering from knee surgery.  I once again pushed myself and scheduled my surgery so I would only have to take two days off of work.  In spite of the willingness of others to help me I still told myself people didn't care and that I was on my own.

In reality I had cut myself off from real and potential connections.  My thought that nobody cared enough about me had led me to take actions that created the circumstances which reinforced it.  It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I reached out to support groups online and Facebook friends yet the virtual world is no substitute for the kind of in person connection people don't just crave but need.  We need people physically present in our lives to talk to, commiserate with, share our pains, celebrate our joys, and support in turn.

Looking at the number of blog posts it's easy to see a pattern; 2014 had 96, 2015 had 28, 2016 had 22 (15 in the first four months), 2017 had 6, 2018 had 12 and 2019 had 3.  I do better when I talk to people and engage them and it's much better when I do that in person than over a computer screen.

It has been an interesting journey these last few years, one of self discovery, one of gaining and losing, one of loving and learning, one of grieving and healing, and one of growing and changing.  The next time you talk to someone who is going through a hard time and they say they don't need help take a step back and observe.  Perhaps you will see something that needs to be done.  You might have the thought to offer to help in a specific way or you could anonymously fulfill a need or want for them.  Most people are either too proud or think they are being a burden by admitting they need help.

From my own experience that leads to isolation.  It's a trap and it will pull you down slowly but surely until you have nobody left around you.  Luckily I had my parents and family to help me even when I didn't want or think I needed help.  More importantly God was and still is there for me because He loves and cares for me.  Just like he loves and cares for each and every one of His children.

It's Time!

It's been a long time since my last post, as usual.  In that time the kids have grown a lot and we have had some fun.  James is now in first grade and Becca is going to kindergarten.  It has been an interesting transition to have both kids in school at the same time.

There have been several things lately that have seemed surreal to me.  The top of that list would be the passing of Karen's and mine's 18th wedding anniversary on August 9th.  It was the fourth anniversary to pass without her.  It is strange to think it's been that long, it feels like such a short time ago yet it seems like another lifetime.  Time and its passing can be strange sometimes.

There was a family reunion the first of July where the kids were able to have fun with cousins and get out on the water.  James loves to ride in the boat but he also loves to play with his cousins on the beach.  Watching him decide which to do can be a fun experience.

Kiddos riding in the boat!

I trained for and completed a bike relay race called Saints to Sinners at the end of July.  It's over 500 miles and goes from Salt Lake to Las Vegas.  My portion was 'only' about 100 miles.  If you have ever heard of a Ragnar this is a bike version of it.  I learned a lot about myself and how much my body can take.  The short version is that I am not pushing my body even close to its limits.  Our bodies are amazing gifts capable of so much when we treat them right; healing, growing stronger, overcoming illness, and so much more.

Me finishing the bike portion of a triathlon relay (CVSS this was some of my training).

One friend swam while another did the running.

The end of the bike relay!

There was an excellent singles conference in Ogden that I was able to attend.  It felt great to hear such good speakers and presenters as well as being around so many people in similar situations.  My eyes have been opened in the last few years to the life experiences of a lot of different people.

Halloween was...interesting.  James changed his mind about what he wanted to dress up as about 5 times.  I was on my way out the door one night dressed as Gru from Despicable Me and asked the kids if they wanted to be my minions?  They got very excited about the idea.  It was a little late to find costumes but with a lot of luck, a little ingenuity, a few Google searches, and some help from a grandma we were able to put it all together.  That's life though.  Sometimes we end up throwing things together at the last minute.

Our themed costumes.

In other preparation for Halloween we carved pumpkins.  And by 'we' I mean I carved the pumpkins, all three of them.  This is the first time the kids have had carved pumpkins and it lead to James wanting to dress up as a jack-o-lantern for Halloween - for about a week.  There are more and more firsts for the kids as they get older, and more firsts for me.  Between James and Becca the Tooth Fairy is being kept busy.  Becca has lost four (two were knocked out last year) with three more loose while James is up to six lost teeth including his two front teeth.  He will be able to sing the Christmas song, 'All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth' with feeling this year.

Pumpkins carved and the top is coming off!

The 'Pumpkin Toss' just before Halloween.

A couple of the pumpkins are stuffed with candy for the kids!

During the month of October I took a break from Facebook.  There were a number of events that lead up to the break.  Family, work, and personal stresses were taking a toll on me and my well being, specifically the spiritual, emotional, and mental aspects.  Add into the mix being a single parent and something had to give.  I also felt like I needed to take the advice of the prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, to take a break from social media, to do a social media fast.  The results were more time for the things that mattered and more restful sleep at night!

Sidewalk chalk is cheap entertainment!

For the last several months I have felt changes are coming my way though what those changes are I don't know for sure.  There is a feeling of something and hints of what it could or might be but nothing specific or concrete like a flashing neon sign.  I had a friend tell me it's not what I think and that what I hope for is years off.  That didn't go over well with me.  I responded with fear and anger, damaging a friendship that has been a source of help and comfort over the last few years.

When Karen was first diagnosed each day during rounding one of her doctors would tell her she was going to die and to get her affairs in order.  Seeing the hope she worked so hard to build each day sucked out of her because a doctor thought she needed a wake-up call was horrible and heart wrenching.  It in turn drained hope from me that took weeks to nurture and rebuild.  I know the doctor was trying to do what they thought best but I recognize they weren't taking everything into account.  We are all human and make mistakes.

What I'm getting at is the comment from my friend was a giant grief trigger for me.  Intellectually I knew they were trying to give me the benefit of their experience yet emotionally I was hurt and flashing back to seeing the hope being leeched out of Karen as well as feeling the hope being siphoned out of my own life.

To whoever reads this, please remember that without hope life becomes drudgery so treat the people around you with love and consideration by nurturing their hopes.  I wish I had taken that advice when my friend made the comment.  If I had maybe I would not have hurt them in turn.

Right now I'm trying to take life as it comes, one day at a time and working towards the personal and family goals I have set.  Remembering Karen's mantra "I am going to beat this. I have plans for tomorrow!" and continuing to remind myself that "Tomorrow is today!"  It's time to make a change.  It's time to stand up.  It's time to be what I want to be.  It's time to act.  It's time to own today.  It's time!


Braden

P.S. Here are some links to previous blog posts with similar themes as the end of this post.  Now to remember and keep building!
http://ihaveplansfortomorrow.blogspot.com/2017/07/halfway-through-summer.html

http://ihaveplansfortomorrow.blogspot.com/2017/11/hope-and-purpose.html

Across 4 Mothers Days!

Warning, this post was written with some mixed emotions.

Exactly six years ago today I was able to see Karen celebrate her first Mothers Day as a mother. It was a great experience and while I can't remember much of anything that happened that day I remember the joy she and I felt. I also remember that joy came after more than a decade of Mothers Days before where she wondered if she would ever be a mother.

Today also marks the 4th Mothers Day since she passed which means my kids have known more of their lives without their mother than with her. It's a little sobering to think about it in those terms. One day they will be able to see their mother again, one day I will be able to see them give her the hugs I know they want to give her now, one day I will be able to hear their shouts of joy.

So today I will make sure to read them their bedtime stories (one each), read scriptures with them, have personal and family prayers with them, tuck them in, and sing them a song if they want. It will be the normal routine, the only routine they remember, the one without their mom. And while she may be there in spirit my heart breaks every time I hear them say, "I miss my mommy!"

As anyone who has lost a loved one knows, it can be hard finding the desire to live let alone get out of bed! For over 3 years I have made sure to get out of bed each morning, maybe not always early and bright eyed, but each time my foot hits the carpet next to my bed it's a victory!

In that time I have learned to do more than simply exist, I have learned to push myself physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. In those 3 years I have grown in each of those areas and am a bit surprised at all of the changes; piano, road biking (after a partial knee replacement), counseling (as a patient), dancing, dating (off and on), party host, and most of all dad (with a little mom in there too). I wonder if Karen's passing was a gift of sorts, a gift of realizing the stagnated potential for growth and self improvement that is within each of us.

Nap time on a Sunday afternoon.

He told me later he didn't fall asleep!  :D

With these kids I'm trying, though I don't always succeed, to live life to the fullest knowing I will have good times and bad; more happiness and more sorrow; more memories with my children, friends, and family. And perhaps in all of that living I will even get to have the joy of witnessing someone else become mother to these wonderful little children! Someone that will embrace the challenge of raising 2 of someone else's children with a slightly crazy, sometimes too serious, and definitely imperfect guy.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Braden

What 5 Year Plan...

A friend of mine talked to me about his five year plan just before he got married.  Marriage hadn't been in his plan and he had wanted to wait before getting into anything serious but life had other plans for him.  It started me thinking a bit about my own plans.  Just over five years ago I was in a community that I loved with one child and another on the way.  I had a job working with and for a great group of people.  Things were looking up!  The only issue was Karen's health during her second pregnancy.

It was five years ago today that the gastroenterologist told me that Karen had colon cancer after he finished her colonoscopy.  The day before we had received the results of the CT scan showing the 'apple core' mass in her colon which they said was only one possibility.  On Valentines Day we received the biopsy results.  We had hoped everyone was wrong, oh how we had hoped but stage 4 colon cancer became our reality.  Goals went out the window and life turned into a day to day focus, then a week to week, then month to month.  After two years our lives once again turned to a week to week and then a day to day focus as Karen's mortal life came to an end.

Just before Becca was born!

After Karen started chemo and was improving but Becca was still in the NICU

Home form the hospital and together as a family!

Karen with the kiddos.

Our 13th anniversary!

Family trip!

Momma and kiddos!

More momma and kiddos!

Even more momma and kiddos!

This is the smile and attitude I remember!!!

Fast forward five years and my life doesn't bear much resemblance to what I had planned except I still have two kids.  I could spend time comparing what I had expected with what is but I know from personal experience that it wouldn't do much good.  Does all this mean I shouldn't have a goal or a plan?  No, it just means it would be better to remember in any plan that life doesn't always turn out as expected.  I can have goals and plans for achieving those goals but sometimes no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do I will come up short.  That's not a bad thing, it's just life.

Fun times with the kids!

Hanging out with the kids!

More kid time!

Fun faces!

However, in that struggle I may end up going down an even better path and accidentally, at least in my own eyes, achieving something better that I had dreamed.  I may end up finding out I am much more capable and have far more potential, even in this life, than I thought possible.  I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

When I talk about religion or my personal beliefs on this blog it is usually indirectly.  One thing I want to make clear though is that so much of what and who I am is tied up in my faith.  Faith in Christ and His power to heal and help, to guide and comfort, to inspire and teach, and to strengthen and calm.  So while I don't talk about religion or personal belief directly I want anyone reading this to know God is real, that he loves us because we are His children, and that no matter where you are He can help.

Braden

Endings and beginngs

Christmas has come and gone with a new year just around the corner.  Over the course of the past couple of months we have celebrated holidays and spent time together as a family.  We have had a couple of snowy days, some days with just us, a couple of travel days, and some relaxing days.

Most of the time it's a lot of fun to watch and listen to the kids play.  Sometimes, especially when they can't get outside, they have too much energy for me.  It seems like they are literally bouncing off of the walls.  A couple of times I have actually asked them to run up and down the stairs 10 times to burn off some of that energy!

All together.

They were excited to help

Trying on daddy's suit coat.

Family still continues to help with the kids.  I am very grateful for their help and the blessing they are to us.  Around the holidays there are times when the loneliness and sense of loss just hits me in the gut.  For some reason this year was harder in some ways than the past 2 years.  I think part of it is some frustration combined with not getting enough sleep and exercise.  That means there is something I can do about it.  Another thing I would like to do is just spend more time having fun with the kids.  Today I sat and held James while we watched a football game on TV.  It was one of those perfect moments that help get me through the hard days.

   

Headstands on the couch - no hands, dad!

   

She built the tower all by herself

James in his new suit!

Funny faces for the camera!

Christmas was good with lots of family and time with the kids.  Without Karen around sometimes it still feels lonely.  That loneliness sometimes makes it feel as though I don't belong.  It's ironic but when I feel that I don't want to socialize much which can actually make it more difficult for me to get rid of the loneliness.  Another term for it could be a feedback loop.  When I'm lonely I don't want to get out so I end up feeling more alone.  On the other side of that if I get out and have some fun or socialize then I don't feel lonely and am more likely to feel like being involved.  Hopefully that makes sense!

Becca's gifts with her old helmet to remind her to wear it.

James's gifts (the helmet was already his and was a reminder for him to wear his helmet when riding the new skateboard.

Daddy's gifts on Christmas.

So one of the cool experiences over Christmas was a gift the kids received from an aunt, one of Karen's sisters.  Before Karen passed she had acquired a pattern for a homemade kids tee-pee.  When going through her sewing stuff a while back Karen's mom found the pattern and liberated it for Karen's sister to use.  The result is one of those cool little things that happen.  It makes me wonder how many more times Karen can help with a gift for the kids!

The tee-pee

I tried something new this year with the kids and had them pick out a present for each other.  Both wanted Legos when I talked to them.  So I helped each in turn pick out some Legos for their sibling.  The way I look at it this is a way for them to learn how to give and not just receive at Christmas or other times.

They bought each other a set of Legos for Christmas.

Becca loves grandma!

I originally started to write a post a couple of weeks ago but never finished it.  When I came back to continue it almost everything was out of date and it needed to be started over.  While looking over the post and thinking about what to write the realization hit that there is a parallel to life, a lesson for me to learn.  If something is started and then not followed through on it can become obsolete or rotten in a way.  Friendships, family relationships, and other interpersonal relationships can be the same way.  When neglected or not nourished they can become stale or stagnant.  The things that matter most in life need consistent and devoted attention.  Now I know something I will be working on this next year!

Happy New Year everyone!
Braden